i admire the stage in dumas smith auditorium a great deal. tonight i played the piano backstage for a very little bit. i wish i remembered more songs without having to use music, so i could jsut sit down adn play more than 1 or 2 songs...i wish i could improvise, and play by ear...but alas...i can't...yet

i danced on the dimly lit stage--barefoot--no one else in the room...

i climbed up "my" spiral staircase and sat on "my" favorite stair and remained there...quiet...soaking in the entire scene of the room, the set remains, the thought that this might be the last time i sit here for another three months...and i enjoy my time there..i thanked God for all that he has taught me in this first year of college...how to study, how to get things done, how to be ME, how to love lots of people, no matter how strange and different they are, how to guard my tounge...the power of words..and how to better use them...gosh..so much more that i cannot even list. this year has been....remarkable?(have you ever looked at that word and wondered what it really means?)

i wander down from my perch on the stairs and open up a very old upright piano, ding out a couple of "notes" (if you can call them that) on the old untuned thing...it's got bugs on some of the keys and such, so i recovered it and snuck(my that's an odd word) out to the center of the stage again to soak in the glory of being on a stage in front of no one but God and me.

i meandered back into the lounge where all the other occupants of the music building were watching "king george and the ducky" for the 2nd time tonight, 4th time this week..and decided that it was not the place i wanted to be..more contemplateive time was to be had. i quietly walked out again, no one asked why...i think they all know how i need that time.

this time i went into the auditorium through the main audience entrance. i entered unsure if i would be engulfed in darkness as the door shut, or if there was some source of dim light inside..i found that the side floor lights were on dimly, so the stairs could still be seen to go up to the back of the auditorium, i looked to the stage, and then back at the stairs to my right. i decided to climb up about half-way in the top section of the seating, and sit on the steps there...it turned out to be a very very nice contemplative spot. i thought of how many times i could come in when no one was in the auditorium and i could make myself a nice place on the steps, and when someone came to practice on stage, they'd never know i was even there, yet i could enjoy their music and watch them. i am not a stalker.
i love this stage