rain down on me
Holy Spirit
set my mind at ease
- oh please
rain down on me
refreshing drops of peace
- please

the clouds roll in
they settle all around
and we wait
for your rain

i'm your child and i'm waiting
to be soaked with your love
and your grace
oh rain on me

i love to dance in your downpour,
oh Lord
your flashes of power
and your crashing glory
- soaks to the root of everything i know
- Lord i grow -
and you reign over me

7-14-00
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there's a balance somewhere..
i've never known where it was supposed to level off at
i don't what weighs heaviest
and i don't know who's scales i've got everything sitting on...
i know i should rest it all on God's scales
and it'd be out of my hands and into His
He balances the world
of course He can balance my hopes

...but i've almost got it figured out Daddy...
if i move this piece here..maybe it will stay...
maybe it won't fall
maybe the tower will survive...
or else it will all come crashing down around me..
Daddy it hurts when the pieces hit me as they fall..
it hurts to step on broken toys..and glass...and hearts

i should have let you fix it Daddy...
will you help me clean it up?

Monday, July 17, 2000 1:33:30 AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

why can't backstage be here?
why can't you be waiting in the next room while i do my dance under dim lights for an audience of One?
why can't i take you with me..or relocate the stage to where we are now?
...i miss dancing around the stage before my God
...i miss being alone in His glory as i try so hard to make Him laugh
does this have anything to do with you?
it's so hard to draw the lines...to know where the lines go
i don't know anymore..where your line is in relation to where He is
i don't know where the balance lies

~the lights are dim~

Friday, July 21, 2000 2:07:50 AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

July scares me
it's not relaxing
it's not extremly busy
it's july--the in between month

august is the back to school month,
september is more of the same,
october is finals,
november is the month of breaks,
december is hectic,
january is my month,
febuary is cold, and involves more finals,
march is springy and relaxing,
april is breezy and wraps up the year,
may is for goodbyes and hellos and moving,
june is for unwinding and relaxing,
then there's july...just about the time you run out of things to do,
yet so close to the time to turn around and move out of the house again...it sucks

Friday, July 21, 2000 2:17:33 AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

in a way..i wish that i was in St.louis....
because of all that i am seeing you work through with God..
i long to have moments like that..
but those are your moments and not mine..
God has other things to work out in my life and i need to look for those here..
wherever i am...
it does not have to be in st.louis just because that is where it is for you..
but some reason that's what it feels like right now...
...and then i say to myself "just a few more weeks and you'll have your staircase back"..
but it doesn't even have to be there in that auditorium...
it's here..
it's now..
why am i not listening?

7-28-00
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the words are back as a flood...thank you