"...on earth is holiness."
(jennifer knapp)

(a)God, you are so much more than i deserve! why do you love me? why did you do all that you've done for me? you've given me more than i would ever have thought to ask you for. the family you made for me is perfect for me, and my parent's raised me by wonderful Christian standards, thank you for that! thank you for the friends you've given to me, for the opportunities i've had to grow and learn things that many people have not gotten to see! God, i am amazed and broken by the fact that you sat on your throne, seeing all of our sinful lives--the dirt and filth of this world...all that we humans had done to your creation--and you felt nothing but love for us. You looked at us with compassion and desired that we be able to spend eternity with you so you sent your Son, who sits beside you, down to this filthy earth to become as one of us...flawed by sin. Yet he was God...and you placed all of out guilt and sin and penalties on him..that we sould not have to suffer...it makes me feel like..a freeloader really. I mean..what did *i* have to do to get this gift? all i had to do was believe it to be true. Lord, tonight you showed me something i have asked for for years...to remember what i felt 12 years ago when i came to the realisation that i wanted to be saved. to experience your love and believe you did indeed die for ME, a sinner. God, tonight you gave me the gift of remembering that childlike faith again...thank you so much. i love you

(b)have you ever been driving down a long stretch of road, and reached down and turned off the radio and just let praises flow from your mouth straight to the heart of God? i did that tonight..as i was driving from new orleans to hattiesburg i spent the mojority of the time straight-up talking to God and praising him...it was awesome. i prayed a lot for lost people that i know, mostly for my grandfather. i am not sure, and this may sound strange, but i believe that at 11:00pm cst, easter-eve'00, that God did somthing in my graddad's life...now..i don't know for sure of anything..just what i experienced in the car between me and God...i feel in all faith that God revealed some of his love and truth to granddad tonight..at midnight in south carolina...i wish there was some way i could know if any of this gut-feeling was absolute truth, but for now, there really isn't...so pray for him, you guys, i'd appreciate it and soon he will too. i'm claiming him this year...God's going to do somthing in his life this year...i have faith in this.

i want more than anything, for my grandfather to know God's love, forgiveness, and joy in his life now. for him to know the reason that he is alive now, the reason he celebrates Christmas and Easter and every day of his life...for him to know that the only reason he is on earth is for God. i long for my grandfather to know that....
*big sigh*